Girl Bullies: They leave both black eyes and agony

To many, the typical school bully is the kid who knocks the books out of the hands of the nerd in the hallway. And that "kid" is a boy.

But in the world of teen girls, the school bully wears makeup and fingernail polish.

She probably wears the latest fashions. Her hair is just about perfect.

The girl-bully is skinny and pretty.

And she can make other girls' lives so horrible that, years later, they'll break down in tears just talking about it - if they can talk about it at all.

• Listen to a recent comment from a mom:

  Some of the girls at my daughter's school (she is 13) are continually fist-fighting like the boys. My daughter has informed me that there are numerous girls now threatening to beat her up because she talked to a boy that one of them likes.

  My daughter has never fought a day in her life, and I am scared to death. I phoned the school and they called it a teen thing that rarely actually results in a fight. I am scared she is going to come home from school one day beaten up. She loves school except for the bullies. What can we do?

• A police in London officer takes down details from a girl gang victim:

  JANE was traveling home one night on the train when her world was turned upside down for a terrifying half hour.

  She had been minding her own business when she was approached by three girls aged about 15.

  The most vocal of the trio launched a barrage of verbal abuse at her. The words were abusive, threatening and frightening.

Police and children's welfare groups across south east London and Kent are becoming concerned by the increasingly brutal attacks by girls on other girls and women.

Bromley Police have received 65 allegations of violent attacks by 14-15-year-old girls in the past year. A spokesman said it is common for mobile phones and jewelery to be taken in the incidents, which they believe are part of a nationwide problem.

Gaby Shenton, assistant director for children's charity Kidscape, believes the problem represents a worrying trend amongst the nation's young women.

"It's not just the number of incidents in south east London we are hearing about on the helplines that concerns us, it's also the level of violence: girls being pushed in front of cars by other girls. Girls stripping others of their clothes, attacks by girls with knives, blades, even a firearm.

"It used to be things like hair-pulling, now it's as likely to be setting hair on fire," she said.

Kidscape, an organization in England designed to help prevent bullying and child-abuse, say there has been a 50 per cent rise in calls from distressed girls in the past year.

London-based psychologist Dr Michelle Elliott said 21st century girls are keen to imitate their male peers.

"Girls now feel is cool to be aggressive like the lads. These are usually girls who have no relationships or success at school. There is a great deal of resentment of successful women. The girls who are involved in the bullying and attacks tend to have a self- image that is governed by how nasty they can be."

During the past 10 years, the number of women sentenced for violent crimes has more than doubled, from 180 to 460 quadrupling since the 1970s.

Psychologists predict, from the current trend, the number of girls committing acts of violence will outnumber boys in eight years time.

One London prison has started giving anger-management sessions to young female inmates in an attempt to curb their capacity for violence.

In North America we have recently seen the publication of several books and studies on girl-bullies and their victims. Probably no one is hearing more about the topic than the staff of the Ophelia Project in Erie, Pennsylvania. This organization is one of the few anti-bully programs for girls in the country.

The project has been around since 1997, offering self-esteem programs and mentors for girls.

But the heart of the project is a school program called "How Girls Hurt Each Other." Using older teens as mentors for younger girls, it's meant to address the often Machiavellian methods of girl-bullies.

With the release of "Odd Girl Out: The Culture of Hidden Aggression in Girls," a book by Ophelia Project member Rachel Simmons, the program has been inundated by e-mails and phone calls "from ocean to ocean" and around the world, said Assistant Director Holly Nishimura, and it was featured on "Dateline NBC."

While boys "come in with a black eye," said Nishimura, girls usually are "under the radar," carrying their scars inside, hidden even from their parents.

For her book, Simmons conducted hundreds of interviews with girls and women, some of whom described bullying so severe that they developed ulcers and eating disorders, transferred to other schools, used drugs, or became depressed or suicidal and underwent psychological counseling well into their adult years.

She found that much of the aggression results from a bully, and as many girls as she can rally, targeting one lone classmate, often for no particular reason. The girls will start rumors about the victim, pass notes in class or write embarrassing letters to boys and sign the victim's name.

They'll have parties and make sure the victim knows, but not invite her. They'll crowd the lunch table so there's no room for her to sit.

And in the 21st century, they use technology as a weapon. Three-way calling, for instance, is wildly popular among younger girls, who will put a third party on the line secretly and then get a victim to say embarrassing things about her.

"Instant messaging" or IM -- an Internet service in which several people can have a real-time conversation simultaneously -- also is epidemic in the world of girl-bullies.

The evil here is that the users, known as "buddies" in IM lingo, can use a fake name, steal someone else's name or pose as several different people while insulting and defaming an unfortunate victim.

"You can multiply yourself a hundred times, and the girl ends up thinking the whole world is against her," said an 18-year-old senior at a Pennsylvania High School who works as a leader for Ophelia's "How Girls Hurt Each Other" project.

Nicki Crick, a researcher at the University of Minnesota, has done some interesting and noteworthy work in this area. While some girl bullies do hit or push or otherwise physically intimidate their victims, Crick has found that most girls who bully rely on verbal or emotional tactics to gain advantage over their peers.

"I'm interested in how bullying occurs throughout the life span and its effect on adult development," Crick says. "We've got research on preschoolers, and we're hoping to see our subjects into adulthood. So we're in it for the long haul."

Crick and her assistants gather information on their subjects through in-depth interviews with parents and teachers as well as the children themselves. They also observe their subjects' interactions with others, tabulating their observations, and assessing the levels of aggression children exhibit in everyday situations.

"We look at school friendships, at relationships with teachers and peers, and at how kids think about the social world around them," Crick says. "We're interested on what impact these sorts of behaviors have on kids' future health and level of adjustment."

Because relational aggression rarely creates bruises or other scars, adults have been known to ignore its effects on the children who are its targets.

"One of the biggest hurdles I see is that adults often don't believe kids when they tell them they have been victims of relational aggression," Crick says. "Girls who have been victimized by relational bullying will say 'This hurts,' and the adults in their lives will dismiss their concerns, sort of a 'Girls will be girls' version of the old saying, 'Boys will be boys.' In the end, girls who are bullied end up not having allies."

While it is far too early in the research for Crick and her assistants to have definitive results, they do have practical advice about how educators can help children cope with relational aggression.

"The best thing I hear about are the administrators who make it clear to teachers and to kids and parents that, just like physical bullying, relational aggression is also against school policy, and students who victimize others in this manner will be reprimanded," Crick says. "Still, the most important step by far is to make the victims of bullying realize that adults will step forward and provide support. This is a serious problem, and we've ignored it for far too long."